Not long ago, I was working on a team and we were introducing a new development process. As with any change, resistance was inevitable—and wow, did we get pushback. One of my colleagues came to me, visibly frustrated, and said, "They just don’t understand how much better this will be for the team!" He was referring to one particular team member who had expressed very strong opinions against the new process in our morning stand-up.

I paused and asked, "What if we approached this with curiosity instead of frustration? Instead of assuming they just don’t want to change or think our idea is bad, why don’t we ask them why they feel this way?"

So, we did. At our next stand-up we asked open-ended questions. We resisted the urge to feel defensive. And, most importantly, we listened. What we uncovered wasn’t stubbornness—it was fear. Fear of slowing down, of the learning curve, of how performance would be measured. Fear of missing goals.

With this understanding, we adjusted our rollout plan, introducing changes in smaller phases. We explained how agile methodologies encourage experimentation and use data to validate process improvements. We reassured the team that leadership was aligned and that a temporary dip in performance while learning was both normal and expected. The result? Not only did we make the transition easier, but we also strengthened trust and cohesion within the team.

Curiosity Opens Doors

When we shift our mindset to one of curiosity it takes us out of a negative, resistant stance. When we approach conversations with curiosity rather than judgment, we create space for listening, learning, and collaboration. It removes defensiveness—both yours and theirs. People feel heard, validated, and far more willing to engage in meaningful discussions.

This doesn’t just apply at work—it applies to every aspect of life.

• In relationships: Instead of assuming your partner is being inconsiderate, ask yourself, "What might be going on with them?" A simple, "Hey, you seem distracted today—everything okay?" can shift the whole dynamic.

• In conflicts: The next time you feel slighted, pause and ask, "What else could be true here?" Maybe the barista wasn’t rude—maybe they’re just overwhelmed with a long line of orders.

• In personal growth: When we judge others, we’re often projecting our own insecurities. Curiosity, on the other hand, signals confidence: "I am secure in myself, so I don’t need to be right all the time. I am open to learning."

Judgment puts you in a reactive, defensive state—one fueled by stress, fear, and imaginary worst-case scenarios. But curiosity? It slows you down. It makes you more intentional, more in control of your emotions, and more adaptable to unexpected challenges.

Be A Better Leader

The best leaders understand this, and foster curiosity constantly in their work with their teams. Curious leaders know they don't have all the answers. They have open discussions with their teams that encourage creative solutions, and the exploration of new ideas and perspectives that lead to more innovation and challenge the status quo.

As a leader, being curious means showing genuine interest in others and through this leaders develop and build strong relationships and improve communication within their teams.

A leader who is curious is one who will embrace uncertainty and view challenges as learning opportunities. This mindset enhances a leaders ability to adapt to change and navigate stressful situations effectively. As a leader, you will then inspire your team to do the same and feel confident in your stewardship.

By asking thoughtful questions and actively listening, curious leaders create a culture where team members feel valued and heard. This openness builds trust and encourages the free exchange of ideas.

When we come from a place of curiosity we create an environment where it is safe to ask questions, experiment and fail forward. When we are quick to judge and become defensive we can contribute to a culture of fear where our colleagues avoid risks, stay silent about problems, and prioritize looking competent over improving.

Be A Better Learner

An attitude of curiosity rather than one of judgement and defensiveness also reflects whether we have a growth mindset or a fixed mindset. A curious, growth-oriented individual adapts to change and sees uncertainty as an opportunity. They ask more than they tell and seek understanding before forming conclusions. A fixed-mindset individual, driven by quick judgements and defensiveness, will likely resist change because it threatens their sense of competence or control.

Cultivating an attitude of curiosity helps you become a better problem-solver. Instead of seeing obstacles as dead ends, a curious team member asks, "what is another way to solve this?," or "what can I learn from this issue?"

When we cultivate curiosity in our own lives we are more open to learning new tools, processes and perspectives allowing us to keep our skills sharp and adaptable.

As one who has always been sensitive to critical feedback, cultivating an attitude of curiosity has helped me not take it so personally. I realize it is not an attack on my worth but rather I reflect inward and ask myself, "Does their input seem valid, and if so, what can I learn here?"

When we are more prone to curiosity we are better collaborators. This makes us more open to different viewpoints leading to better teamwork and innovation.

Finally, applying a greater sense of curiosity in your life increases your confidence. When you believe in your own ability to improve, challenges become exciting rather than intimidating. The fear of failure lessens and you become more willing to push beyond your comfort zone.

Applying Curiosity In Your Own Life

So, next time you are in a situation where you feel your defenses coming up, pause. Then ask, "What can we learn from this?", "How can we improve next time?" or "Why might they be feeling this way?" Make curiosity part of the team culture at work. Reward curiosity driven problem-solving over mere execution.

At its core, an attitude of curiosity unlocks growth. It keeps us adaptable, open-minded, and willing to evolve. When we embrace this attitude not only do we grow ourselves but we inspire growth in those around us.

So, the next time you catch yourself jumping to conclusions, pause. Ask a question. Listen. Stay curious.